sometimes i wonder about the decisions i make... take today for example: i'm running about on the way to my hair appointment when i get a real hankerin' for one of those caramel coffee blended whatseewhosits they got these days. well, i had to drive a bit out of the way to obtain one of these tasty caffeinated treats, though it was well worth it. but something was eating away at me about my actions... caramel and whip cream destroying my stomach lining? no, this was far more real a threat. there were many blended drink choices that awaited me at the coffee shop. what if i had chosen vanilla - or hell, even white chocolate mocha? how different the journey of my day would have become. quite so! and then i got to thinking about all those possibilities... beyond just my drink choice. man, the list was growing: that red light i totally blew through, eggs and bacon instead of oatmeal, nodding to my retiree neighbor this morning when i usually wave. where would and who would i be this moment had i just done things a little differently? and this is where things turn really serious inside my noggin... how many of me are out there? a different ME for every tiny split second decision, action or inaction, skim or 2% milk. yeah, i know, alternate universes!! alternate ME'S!!! its tough taking it all in at once, i've had the two previous hours to deal with this while i wait for my laundry and i'm still struggling. i'm sure there are a lot of you out there thinking, man - the possibilities! you're thinking "hey waiter, this life sucks, bring me another" and you could just reach out and peruse your closest alternate universe and find an alternate you with everything going for him. sure sounds easy to me, but hey, every ray of light has a dark tunnel at its backside. so i'm thinking, damn, i bet there are some mean ME'S out there... 'cos i've had a bad thought or two in my day. well, what if one of those evil dudes thought up this whole scenario before me? and he's out there, working together with other baddie-type me's like the ultimate villain team up, waiting to drop a dead mouse in my frosted flakes... or worse?! what do i do though - not make a decision again? give up blended coffee drinks? set mouse traps in my lazy susan? there's no solution. even inaction in itself is a decision made and doesn't keep you or me from our responsibilities to the infinite creation of alternate us's.
i hurt my brain real hard for you dear readers... and i leave the answers, if there are any, to you. i'm just an ass like that.
now this might sound strange but i'm watching this new 'sitcom' called 'teachers' and it's not very 'funny' and this was a 'line' from the last 'scene'. 
everyday, it's a gettin' closer,
my heart would break... ahhh... good old glass tiger. so, my friends, romans and countrymen, i shall be off fighting the culture war for the next 10 days and may not be able to write too many reports from the field. i shall try because i think it is 'important' for you to know what's going on out there! but as 1500 bands descend upon me i fear that in the trenches may not be the greatest place to pontificate about my favorite things in the world: puddinbun and yankee candles.
sometimes i wonder about the decisions i make... take today for example: i'm running about on the way to my hair appointment when i get a real hankerin' for one of those caramel coffee blended whatseewhosits they got these days. well, i had to drive a bit out of the way to obtain one of these tasty caffeinated treats, though it was well worth it. but something was eating away at me about my actions... caramel and whip cream destroying my stomach lining? no, this was far more real a threat. there were many blended drink choices that awaited me at the coffee shop. what if i had chosen vanilla - or hell, even white chocolate mocha? how different the journey of my day would have become. quite so! and then i got to thinking about all those possibilities... beyond just my drink choice. man, the list was growing: that red light i totally blew through, eggs and bacon instead of oatmeal, nodding to my retiree neighbor this morning when i usually wave. where would and who would i be this moment had i just done things a little differently? and this is where things turn really serious inside my noggin... how many of me are out there? a different ME for every tiny split second decision, action or inaction, skim or 2% milk. yeah, i know, alternate universes!! alternate ME'S!!! its tough taking it all in at once, i've had the two previous hours to deal with this while i wait for my laundry and i'm still struggling. i'm sure there are a lot of you out there thinking, man - the possibilities! you're thinking "hey waiter, this life sucks, bring me another" and you could just reach out and peruse your closest alternate universe and find an alternate you with everything going for him. sure sounds easy to me, but hey, every ray of light has a dark tunnel at its backside. so i'm thinking, damn, i bet there are some mean ME'S out there... 'cos i've had a bad thought or two in my day. well, what if one of those evil dudes thought up this whole scenario before me? and he's out there, working together with other baddie-type me's like the ultimate villain team up, waiting to drop a dead mouse in my frosted flakes... or worse?! what do i do though - not make a decision again? give up blended coffee drinks? set mouse traps in my lazy susan? there's no solution. even inaction in itself is a decision made and doesn't keep you or me from our responsibilities to the infinite creation of alternate us's.
oops. well - it is still sort of monday night. isn't it? rebecca gayheart is pretending to be normal on 'medium' and it's late and i still haven't read my chapter for the day in the sequel to 'the devil wears prada.' it's called 'and god wears tom ford.' quite a read! i think she's working on a trilogy and the final instalment is 'mohammed wears marc jacobs.' either that or 'buddha wears tommy hilfiger.' but possibly not because buddha is asian and they say that tommy believes asians shouldn't wear his clothes because they don't look good in them. i've heard that is an 'urban legend' but i really want to believe it because i enjoy boycotting ugly clothes.
yes, there was a day not too long ago that i shed tears. how many centuries has it been? there is little that i remember now before the creation of this known world. i knew life before that great event too... there's some trace of the being i was then, of Galan. how many of us are there that claim to be the last of a "great civilization" or the sole survivor of a "distant, doomed planet"? far too many for humanity to be concerned with i'm sure. and there it is, again, this troublesome worry of mine revealing itself in the manner which i speak about you humans. perhaps i've been so determined to consume Earth in hopes that your collective humanity will save me from the lack of mine. i think it must be in the attempt at recounting what my life has been, in that endless maze of memories, distinguishing what is true and what was just hope, that i find myself trapped and that the one thing i cannot devour is a deep rooted despair.
