PROJECT MUM'S DAY

welcome to week two of my project runway slagging. and we're off.

jeffrey is bummed elisha cuthbert is gone. told you he wanted to fuck her.

michael is psyched to be the first double winner. of course.

this week's challenge - dress another contestant's mother! geez.

oh my god! cruella de vil just started crying. i bet her mother was really mean to her.

there are a couple sisters. robert and vincent. vincent probably killed his mother. he has a full on norman bates vibe now that i think about it.

so... the giant buttons out of the bag...

michael: robert's sister. she's very pretty.

laura: jeff's mother "just to torture jeff."

vincent: uli's mom. poor woman. but she's a german - she's probably tough. i hope she eats him alive.

angela: laura's mom

kayne: michael's mother

uli: kayne's mom

robert: vincent's sister

jeffrey: angela's mother. 'i ended up with angela's mom because i think god got drunk today.'

so now they're off to some hoity toity party at tavern on the green with michael kors and HIS mother. michael kors' mother looks just like... michael kors.

i like this idea of using family to humanize them. kayne's mother brought kayne as a fat kid pictures of him. very cute.

'good for you, you shed a dress size and a half.'
-robert on kayne

michael as a kid - so adorable

teenage jeffrey - HEELARIOUS! 'jeffrey's been through a lot. he's a recovering alcholic. i'm so proud of him.' and his mother chokes up. i wonder if she'll be choking when she sees what an asshole her son is.

laura announces she's pregnant with child number 6. and her mother is shocked. and her husband doesn't know yet. laura's mom looks like a less uptight version. same hair just slightly sloppier.

'five, six, seven. i'll just throw it on the pile with the other ones.'
- angela on having a whole litter

they have 30 minutes for sketching. make it work!

laura's mother wants some sort of audrey hepburn thing. errr. ok. a slightly blousy middle age woman does not translate to audrey hepburn but that's just me. perhaps we all have an inner audrey. i know that i often dream of being a wistful prostitute.

jeffrey's mother's favorite color is sea foam green. ha!

angela's mother - re jeffrey - 'we ARE the challenge!'

angela's mother actually seems nice. all the mothers do. what went wrong? but uh oh. she doesn't like the dress. 'i'm going to make the dress i'm going to make. i hope you like it. if you don't like it there's not a thing i can do about it. i hope the judges like it.'

now he's telling her she's insecure. 'i don't get along with her daughter. why should i get along with her?' she's upset and insulted. and crying. and now angela's crying. oy.

jeffrey's mom is trying to console her. christ - now HIS mother is crying. now jeffrey's out with some bs about how his life is on the line with this show. oy again.

now i sort of question project runway bringing peoples' mothers into a pressure cooker situation like this. that said, i guess they should see the little satans they have spawned.

'i'm gonna walk the catwalk like the models do and i'm gonna embarrass kayne.' - kayne's mom

so i've actually voted in that stupid poll they do every week. 'who's right? jeffrey or angela's mom?' and i voted for jeffrey, believe it or not. maybe i'll win the ipod.

laura's up first with jeffrey's mother. it's her typical high waisted conservative shit. but it doesn't fit right and looks a bit sackish.

uli with kayne's mother. all flowy but not bad. kayne's mom is working it.

vincent with uli's mom. she doesn't look too bad. damnit. vincent lives another day. the judges all love it. of course.

kayne with michael's mom. she isn't smiling and she looks like a satiny pumpkin. why on earth would he put her in cropped pants? jesus. michael wants her to look like a ho and show some more skin.

angela with laura's mom. some sort of fringy black thing. it's not completely dreadful. fuck. once again the evildoers live. ooh - the judges aren't into it calling the frock stevie nicks not audrey hepburn.

robert with vincent's sister. she looks miserable and also looks like a pumpkin. they're ripping him to shreds. again.

michael with robert's sister. boy he lucked out. she is thin and attractive. he made a really cute shirtdress. reversible to go day to night. he rules.

jeffrey with angela's mom, of course. she's actually smiling. it's not bad, i guess. bit weird, though. some sort of black flowing thing with a collar. angela's mom and angela are both trashing jeffrey now.

'it looks like comme des garçons goes to the amish country.'
-michael kors on jeffrey's dress (if you can call it that.)

real tossup as to who's going to win - uli or michael, i think. but he had immunity. holy fuck, vincent's going to win, isn't he?

oh god. he did. siiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhh.

it's down to robert and jeffrey...

ohhh, robert's out. i'm sad. this show sucks.